Midweek Humor

Midweek Humor with MPT

Today’s post will be short and funny (okay it might not be funny to some, but to theology nerds like me it will be hilarious). I continue my Wednesday regular column of midweek humor with Matthew Paul Turner. If you haven’t checked out his site yet, you really should because it is a great daily laugh. Check it out here.

Today’s post again comes from his book What You Didn’t Learn from Your Parents About Christianity. Quoted from page 91:

Finally, the True Definition of Three Confusing Apostle Paul Terms

  • Predestination: A predestination is a destination you visit on your way to another destination. In other words, it’s the destination before the actual destination.
  • Soul Sleeping: Soul sleeping is a condition that sometimes affects R&B singers, causing an album to suck.
  • Thessalonica: We have no idea what “thessalonica” means, but we’re pretty sure people in California are caught doing it all the time.

Midweek Humor with MPT

So I wanted to have at least one day where I had the same topic, a regular pattern. Much of what I write about usually is heavy and deep stuff and because of that I think the midweek humor break I took last week was a nice change of pace.

Therefore, I have decided from now on to have Wednesday be the day of “Midweek Humor with MPT” (MPT is Matthew Paul Turner who is a Christian author and the owner of the site jesusneedsnewpr.net.

Sometimes I might highlight a post MPT has on his website and sometimes I will draw off some humor from one of his books. Last week I shared a passage from his book What You Didn’t Learn from Your Parents About Christianity and I will be sharing another excerpt this week. One subject that is being discussed within Minnesota United Methodism is the topic of “young adults.” There is a strong desire to connect with young adults (now one could debate if this is coming from a missional intention-i.e. we are called to share Christ with everyone-or it could be coming from a survival intention-i.e. we want this group to continue after we are gone and that is only happening if we get fresh meat in here.) Whatever the intention we know that the reality is that people within the church desire to see young adults in the church with them. However, sometimes it is like “young adults” are species we know nothing about. So often people wonder what they really like or care about, where they hang out, or what they look like (okay I am kidding a bit, but only a bit). Well if you are going to do young adult ministry keep the following words from MPT in mind:

Five Things Young-Adult Ministries Should Never Do

(1) Human Bingo. It’s just dumb.

(2) Bad Coffee. Most young adults are coffee snobs; if you can’t offers Starbucks or better, then don’t make coffee. [You come in there with Folgers and you might get excommunicated]

(3) Bad Music. Enough said. [No music is better than bad music. Trust Us!]

(4) Forbid dating within the group. At least half the members at the group are there because they’re looking for dates. Accept it and move on.

(5) Have “singles” in the name. Yes, it’s why they’re there. But do you really have to advertise it?

(Quoted from page 138 of What You Didn’t Learn from Your Parents About Christianity by Matthew Paul Turner)